The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
