Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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