Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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