You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
