Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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