Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
