Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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