On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
