I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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