Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry MidoriGreen hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out

(607): View more from New York

what a beautiful fairy tale

Fav 33 11289 1218
share tweet
(954): View more from Florida

I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

Fav 14 2703 1553
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(909): View more from California

i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.

Fav 9 7837 1284
share tweet
(909): View more from California

Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?

Fav 7 2420 1351
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes

Fav 9 863 2872
share tweet
(602): View more from Arizona

She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob

Fav 9 2171 864
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.

Fav 9 2137 712
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.

Fav 3 478 1065
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(819): View more from Quebec

idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars

Fav 2 54 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT