did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
