I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
