Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
