My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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