I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
