I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
