remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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