I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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