Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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