OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
