So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
