There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
