why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
