Me too!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
