is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
