I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
