There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
