as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
