Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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