wrigley field is MILF paradise
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
