If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
