I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
