I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
