By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
