Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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