i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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