It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
