only you would photoshop your dick
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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