I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
