make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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