I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
