Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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