I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
