After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
