in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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