Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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