I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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