that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
