No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
