I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
