I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
