I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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